WTB Permadeath
by spacecavy
Summary: Azeroth is a place where heroes never die, or at least not permanently. What happens when the Alliance gets a new hero who actually wants to die? An irreverently light look at suicide.
1. Prologue: Summoning

**Prologue  
**

_Don't think this was a snap decision. I mean, sure, today really sucked, but I'm not just killing myself because my boyfriend cheated on me, dumped me, then cheated OFF me and managed to get me kicked out of uni. It wasn't even the final straw when I got home to find my father passed out drunk on the couch with the door open and my dog run over in front of the house. Wow, now that that's all on paper maybe I do have enough to justify this to you. I only wish I had some money to leave you, whoever you are, to pay for your therapy. _

_I mean, you don't think this is crazy, right? YOU think there's something better waiting after all this, right? Maybe grassy fields and peaceful waterfalls and torture chambers filled with mannequins that look like the ex that ruined your life to play with. That was dark. I'm sorry. I'm in a dark place right now. I shouldn't be, right? I mean, if you're reading this, it means I'm in a better place, right?_

_Anyways, thanks for reading, Random Finder of My Body. Cheer up; both our days can only get better from here!_

_Have a good life,_

_Mara Somerset_

_P.S. I hope you find me before my corpse gets all bloated and smelly and gross. If not, I'm sorry. _

**Everything is dark, yet I feel motion. I wonder what I'm moving towards, and I hope it isn't too creepy. Or boring. I can sense other things moving beside me, and wonder again at how creepy the afterlife will be. Just as I begin to wonder if this dark, cluttered, drifting space is all there is to the afterlife, light filters in from . . . somewhere. It's impossible to tell, but the deep black has become a vague grey. Forms around me become clearer and I begin to make out . . . oh, no. I scream, but hear no sound. Black, twisted forms float all around me, some looking like a parody of what may be human, other unrecognizable, horned and scaled and terrifying. **

**Light glows behind the creature on my left and I let out another silent scream as it reaches for me with a clawed hand that looks like it's made of blue plasma. Empty eye sockets glow with ethereal light. "I . . . will not go . . ." a resonating voice gasped from all around me. The monstrosity tightened its grip on my arm and I could only assume it was the one that had spoken. As I drifted, struggling, through empty space, I noted the unexpected source of light. It also seemed to be the offending object that had set the creature holding me into its terrified rage. A small, thin hand made entirely of pure light reached for my blue captor, an impossibly long arm reaching up and away into a small pool of light an impossible distance above us. Desperate, I wanted anything this unearthly beast feared on my side, and impulsively reached for the hand. The appendage flailed around for a victim as I spun the demon away, trying to get closer . . . The hand jerked unexpectedly as my fingers brushed it. It froze for a split second, then, as if giving up and deciding, "good enough", crackling, numbing fingers closed firmly over my wrist and I felt myself being jerked upward.**

Light. The only word that will come to my mind, because there is just so _much _of it. I blink rapidly and the blinding blur above me solidifies into a green canopy of trees wafting their branches lazily below a bright noonday sun.

A high, feminine voice scoffs irritably above me, "_You're_ not a voidwalker!"


	2. Chapter 1: n00b

I blinked dazedly up at the woman glaring down at me, arms akimbo and scowl on her face. "Um . . ." I replied helpfully.

She rolled her eyes and straightened up, her long red robes brushing my shoulder. "Oh, for heaven's sake! Did I accidentally soul-stone some loser again? Well, you're welcome," she added loftily. "Now, move along, there simply aren't enough murlocs on this bank to go around and I was here first." She stepped away from me and began waving her arms and muttering distractedly. A faint glow issued from her hands. I pushed myself wearily to my knees, uncertain if it would be a good idea to turn my back on this strange woman. As I got to my feet the woman finished her chant and another being appeared at her feet.

**"Send me back!" **rasped a disturbingly familiar resonating voice. I screamed, out loud this time. Miss Red Robes glared at me as though we were in a library. "Why are you still here? I can't heal you, and I am certainly _not _going to summon any of your nasty little friends here to steal my job out from under me." She pointed behind me, "These. Are. My. Murlocs." For the first time, I turned my back on the stranger. I had to stifle another scream. I was standing on sloping, grassy bank beside a lake, and right at the edge of the lake were several small wooden huts, almost like children's play houses. Except there were no children around, there were only . . . creatures. They had wet, colorful skin like frogs, and frills on side of their heads. They were all making little grumbling noises that seemed to be some kind of primitive language. They would be almost cute, except for the fact that every one of them carried a sharpened spear. I turned around to look at Miss Red Robes, eyes wide with surprise. She rolled her eyes at me once again and began waving her hands again, this time looking at one of the, what did she say? Murlocs? as though it was the most blasé things she's ever seen.

I made a quick glance back at the bank and saw one of the humanoid amphibians break away from its fellows and charge in our direction, spear pointed threateningly at the woman beside me. "Mrglglglgl!" it bellowed. The noise I made was probably not entirely dissimilar. "Um, I think one's seen y-" I broke off in a gasp as the red-clad woman finished casting with a flourish of her hands and a soft ball-sized ball of fire shot at her attacker, knocking it off its feet with a gurgle and a _thud_.

"Finish him, Volcar," the woman said indifferently, not even sparing another glance at the writhing amphibian as her ethereal minion dispatched the weakened creature with a quick swipe of its clawed hand.

Once again the woman in red began to wave glowing hands, this time focusing on a creature further up the bank, gurgling in dominance at one of its fellows. "I . . . what - you just . . ." my mouth continued to work soundlessly as words failed me.

She abruptly stopped casting with a long-suffering sigh, making sure to wait until she had turned towards me before rolling her eyes, just to make sure I got the full effect. "Alright, you're _obviously _new here, so I'm going to give you some help. I've no idea what hole you've crawled out of, but your _painful_ level of innocence and _wonder_," she rolled her eyes again, "makes me guess you've come here after seeing the recruitment board in Stormwind, although the _mere_ _fact_ that you managed to get lost on the road from Stormwind to Northshire puts me in a state of fear for the Alliance if they find a job for you." She gave me a doubtful look, "I digress. What you want to do is head that way along Crystal Lake, "she pointed to her left, "until you see a road. Make a right and the road will take you straight to Northshire. Move along, now!" she made shooing motions at me.

"Er, I'm not sure . . ." I began awkwardly.

"Tell that to the Guard, dear, it is not a warlock's business to care," she explained flippantly, motioning to her terrifying minion, "Come along, Volcar," and with that she wandered into some nearby trees, inspecting some foliage growing against one, clearly intent on pretending I did not exist. I wondered to myself if i did. Perhaps this was a dream. I didn't want to believe this was the afterlife. It was too much like my old life, complete with snotty blonds that pulled off red better than I ever could. I rubbed the back of my neck uncertainly, wondering what to do. I caught sight of the creatures by the pond once again. One of them seemed to be eyeing me with a hungry look, fondling its spear absently. I quickly set off in the direction the warlock had pointed, careful to give the lake the widest berth possible while still keeping it in view. I hoped murlocs were the worst thing lurking in this forest.

Fortunately, then only denizens of this new world I encountered on my brief journey were a squirrel and a small boar. It did not take long to reach Northshire Valley and I immediately spied a large white building at the end of the road. There were several people bustling around, talking, comparing weapons, and even buying from some vendors whom had set up shop by the side of the road. I paused to examine what looked like disturbingly large wolf pelts one vendor had when a man in plate armor and a blue tabard waved me over. I wandered over to him, trying to decide what to reveal of myself.

"Ah, good, another healthy young adventurer!" he smiled amicably. "We need all the help we can get. Tell me, are you ready to start your adventure?" his grin broadened and seemed to imply, "better you than me".

I shuffled my feet awkwardly, "Um, well they do say death is last great adventure, so I guess I am . . ."

The jolly soldier's smile fell for a second, then he burst out laughing, "Bwahahaha! What a morbid thing to say! Tell me, are you a warlock?"

"I'm not a warlock!" I said rather tersely, thinking of the snotty blond in red and her creepy fiend.

"Oho! Alright, lass," the man quickly barreled on, "What class are you?"

I blinked uncertainly, "Um, my class?"

"Your class!" he laughed again, and I wondered how much alcohol consumption soldiers were allowed on duty in this country. "What weapons and magics are you skilled with?"

"Oh," I paused for a moment, uncertain how to continue. After a moment of deliberation during which I was regarded with utmost amusement, I decided on honesty. "Well, I don't think I can do magic, and i don't know how to use any weapons. Honestly I have no idea how to fight . . ."

The soldier nodded happily and turned around, bellowing to a man standing in the building's doorway, "Oiy! Willem! We got another hunter!"

Willem looked both considerably more sober and considerably more bored. He nodded and gestured encouragingly at me, "Send her in to see the Marshal, then."

I walked hesitantly to the man, and he waved me into the building, "Marshal McBride is inside the abbey. Shouldn't be hard to find." I nodded my thanks and headed in.

Almost twenty minutes later I began to suspect the man was bored enough to play jokes on new recruits, or perhaps this was some kind of initiation, or maybe I was in purgatory and would wander this damned Abbey for the rest of eternity . . . And then when I ran through the entry hall for what felt like the hundredth time I noticed a stair case, carefully camouflaged against the curved wall and hidden in a niche. I took the stair two at a time and arrived out of breath. "Hey, citizen! You look like a stout one. We guards are spread a little thin out here, and I could use your help..."

"McBride?" I gasped irritably, wondering if he was mocking me.

"That's Marshal to you, lass." He said sternly. "Now, if you're here to help, tell me what I'm looking at. What's your class?"

"Hunter," I said uncertainly. I had no idea how to hunt, but it sounded much easier that summoning demons and playing with swords and whatever else everyone in the courtyard was doing. They probably just needed someone to snare some rabbits for them or something.

"Where is your pet, hunter?" asked the Marshal.

I thought poor Poko, lying limp by the side of the road. I wondered if it had been legal to bury him in the woods behind my house. "Um, I was under the impression the assignments here are kinda, you know, dangerous. People are playing with spears and fire balls and stuff. Is this really a good place for pets, sir?" I tacked on the "sir" as an after-thought, with too long of a pause before it.

To my surprise, the Marshal accepted my insubordinate speech with my third long-suffering sigh of the day, rubbing his hand across his face. "Yes, it is very dangerous, which is exactly why you need . . . oh, forget it. You'll last or you won't." He shook his head. "The blackrock orcs are attacking Northshire, and my soldiers need all the help they can get beating them back. If you're up for it, kill me some orcs and you'll be paid." He fixed me with a stern stare and I felt his "_if_" resonate clearly in that glare.

"OK, you want me to go kill orcs." I nodded and turned to go. After all, what else can you really say to that? I had little intentions of following orders from a man who seemed to believe hamsters belonged on the battlefield.

"And for heaven's sake," McBride called to my retreating back, "get yourself a pet!"


	3. Chapter 2: Leeeeroy!

**Author's Note:**I'd like to say that I'm extremely grateful and flattered that some people are already enjoying my little story. I'm trying to find the right balance between making Azeroth exist as a believable world and not a game, but also leaving it recognizable as World of Warcraft. I hope I'm doing a decent job! Also, in case the end of this chapter makes you wonder; yes, there will be more of this. I'm not ending it here.

**Chapter 2**

Exiting Northshire Abbey was almost as difficult as entering it. I just couldn't seem to find the door. For someone who intended to be spending today six feet underground, I was rather desperate for some fresh air after five frantic minutes of fruitless wandering.

I blinked gratefully in the light of the bustling courtyard after the dim hush of the Abbey. "New recruit," I jumped as someone spoke beside me. Looking around, I saw it was Willem again. I wondered if his companion had found a pub to crawl off to. "Did Marshal McBride give you your orders?"

"Er, you need people to kill orcs, right?" I asked, wondering how to excuse myself from this conversation as quickly as possible.

"Yes, the Blackrocks. My men are behind the Abbey waiting to fend off the next wave right now." I nodded as he spoke and began to edge away. My denial was ebbing swiftly in the face of crazy soldiers and orc attacks and I was becoming acutely aware that I was not as dead as I had hoped to be. If this _was_ an afterlife, I wanted my proverbial money back. _Nope, next. What else ya got?_

I was fully intent on finding a quiet corner to dispatch myself in. I supposed the orcs would most certainly kill me, and although death by orc may be a decent last resort, I was hoping for something a little less painful. Orcs sounded like the kind of things that dismembered their prey, or even ate it alive. No, thank you. It was time for Suicide, Mach II.

"Oh, hang on!" called Willem as I turned away, "It looks like you don't have a weapon yet, do you? Here," he began rummaging through a wooden box by his side, "most adventurers have at least a basic weapon when they come to us, and we don't start handing out better gear until they've done a job or two for us, but some of the more basic items get left here when someone gets an upgrade. I don't see why you couldn't take one of these," he held up a small crossbow with a slightly splintered handle and a quiver that held a laughable one arrow. "You're a hunter, right?"

"Yeah, " I took the crossbow and quiver. "Thanks. This will be, um, very useful." I examined my single arrow doubtfully. It was rather blunt, and slightly bent. A sudden thought occurred to me. "Actually, you don't have any guns, do you?" Now _that _would be an easy death, nice and quick. I'd only need one bullet anyways, assuming singular ammunition became a trend.

"Ah, sorry, not for free. You may try one of the vendors over there, if you have any gold." Of course I didn't. "Also, if you manage a couple jobs for us with that one I can reward you with an upgrade. I'm sure we have a decent gun laying around for a helpful adventurer." He gave me a small smile.

I looked down the shaft of my arrow. Definitely bent. "Orcs, huh?" Oh, well, I thought, I might as well try. Maybe the orcs will give me a clean death. Maybe orcs are very stupid, slow fighters and I can actually kill a few. There's really no way to lose, right? "Alright, I'll give orc killing a shot." Just one shot, literally. "Which way?"

Willem pointed to his right, "Into the woods, that way. You'll see my men fighting. Please lend them a hand."

I took a deep breath, "Alright, this is a win-win. Just keep telling yourself that," I added under my breath as I started out.

"Hey, hunter," called Willem in confusion, "Where's your pet?"

That again? Where was _his _pet? Did he have a ferret concealed in his trousers? I pretended not to hear him and continued around the west side of the Abbey.

The sound of a battle of sorts soon reached my ears. I could hear grunts, screams, and, strangely, barks and howls. No sword-clashing. I edged quietly around the side of the Abbey, curiously taking in the scene before me. There were maybe a dozen plate-clad soldiers on the battle field, as well as some other unprofessional dopes like me in rusting chain mail and thin leather, engaging massive wolves in battle. I could see hulking humanoid forms in the low hills, green skin stretched tight across apish faces as they grinned at the violence unfolding beneath them. I could see an old mine to the North-West, with smaller figures skulking around it.

"Gaaaah!" I heard the anguished scream and a clatter of plate mail. Not ten feet from me a soldier was on the ground, sword three feet from his hand, trying desperately to protect his face with plate gauntlets as a huge black wolf attempted to savage him. No one was helping him; they were all engaged in battles of their own. I acted without thinking. Clearly, if I'd been thinking, I probably would have run up to the struggling pair and stabbed the wolf with the soldier's dropped sword. However, thinking is not something someone who has never seen battle generally does when faced with a life-or-death situation. I pulled up my crossbow, clumsily loaded my single arrow, and fired. The arrow landed roughly eight feet to the left of my target. I groaned, tensing in preparation to put what should have been Plan A into action (grab sword; stab wolf), but my crossbow was still loaded. The soldier screamed again and I put aside this discrepancy of logic, swiftly closed the gap between us, clubbing the beast on the head with my crossbow, then feeling quite stupid and dropping the thing in place of the sword when the wolf turned to me, bloodied drool hanging in ropes from its gaping jaws. I thrust the sword out in front of me just as it lunged; the beast did the rest for me, throwing itself on the sword.

I didn't mind the blood. There was gushes of it, but the sight and scent only made me feel slightly dizzy. I was even OK that I'd killed the thing. It was, after all, about to kill a man defending an Abbey. No, what chilled my blood, bringing me to my knees in a horrified trance, what will probably haunt my dreams for the next few weeks, was the sound the wolf made when it died. A cross between a whimper and a pained howl, it reminded me of the noise my dear Poko would make if he noticed my dinner looked better than his. I wondered if Poko made that noise when he died, and a strange ringing filled my ears even as my fingers went numb.

"Oh, gah! Thank you, recruit. I cannot thank you enough!" gasped the rescued soldier I had already forgotten as he pushed himself to his feet. "Your crossbow, miss. Miss?"

I started slightly and looked around. The man I had rescued was holding my crossbow out to me, and I became vaguely aware that I was still clutching the hilt of his sword with shaking hands, dead animal slumped in a pool of blood a foot away from me. Noticing my behavior with no small amount of shame, I leaped to my feet. The forest spun and my ears rang for exactly four seconds. I took my crossbow, which was still loaded, from the soldier and held it firmly with both hands to stop them shaking. "Thank you," I said stiffly, not looking at him.

"You thank me!" he chuckled a little, "she, who saved my life." I looked at him for the first time. His visor was pushed up, and I could see dents in the armor around his neck where the wolf was chewing on him, and a bleeding scratch running across his bearded face. "We must return to the battle," he added, facing the line of trees and his battling companions once again.

"Wait!" I called, abruptly regaining my composure. "What's the plan here? You're completely over-run."

"The plan?" He drew his sword from the dead wolf, and hesitated with the gory thing held aloft, ready for attack. "The Blackrock orcs are cowards! They send their worgs in to attack while they sit and watch. The Horde have no honor," he spit on the ground and waved his sword dramatically in the air. "By the Light, we will defeat them!"

"Um, OK, sounds good. How, though?" I raised my eyebrows meaningfully.

"All we can do is hold them off and wait for reinforcements," he sobered as he spoke, seeming to deflate in the face of reality.

"These wolves keep coming, you guys have a pile of bodies going on over there. How are there so _many_?" I asked.

"They've found a gap in the valley's natural defenses. They're coming in from a break in the mountains," he explained.

"Can we seal the gap? Do we have explosives?" I asked eagerly. In the back of my mind, I wondered why I was beginning to care about these people and the outcome of their battle. Adrenalin does funny things to people, I suppose.

The soldier shuffled his feet, "The only explosives around here are in Echo Ridge Mine, but it's been abandoned. Not only is it on the verge of collapse, but it's swarming with Goblins. McBride thinks they're trying to find a way to stabilize it so they can mine there once they've secured the valley. I think they just like being near all the dynamite. Goblins are like that," he added helpfully.

"Alright, where exactly _is _this gap they're coming through?" I asked, visually scanning the mountainside.

"To the North-West, just to the right of Echo Ridge Mine," the soldier pointed.

I gaped. "But, that looks so _simple_! Won't the crevice be blocked with rubble if we collapse the mine near the entrance?"

"We can't spare the men," explained the soldier. "and even if we could, we wouldn't have enough to pull such a plan off safely. It would be suicide for anyone to attempt such a thing."

"Right, well, that actually sounds like a plan," I said happily, starting off along the building. I wouldn't want to attract attention too soon. "By the way," I called, "do you have any matches?"

The soldier dug around in a pocket, pulling out a small tinder box. He hesitated, looking ready to toss it to me, "But, these aren't our orders . . ." I held out my hands encouragingly, ready to catch. He tossed me the box. "Light be with, brave young woman!" I nodded my thanks and turned, sneaking along the side of the Abbey.

I managed to avoid notice and reach the Northern edge of the valley, trying not to watch the carnage to my left as man and beast locked in an endless battle. Crouched behind a scraggly bush, I watched the strange, waist-high creatures the soldier had called goblins milling around the mine entrance. It looked as though the locals had boarded the entrance up before the attack, but now roughly hacked boards lay scattered about under a sign that clearly warned of danger. I could just make out, right in the entrance, several barrels with a red flame painted on them, clearly marking them explosive. Next to the barrels a goblin I assumed was female fussed about with a pile of red sticks, and although she was still rather far away, I could see a look of manic glee on her face. I guess the soldier was right about goblins.

Another thing the soldier was certainly right about was the hopelessness of completing this mission alive. There were at least five goblins in between me and the explosives, and even if I did manage to get past them, there was simply no chance I could light a fuse and run to a safe distance without being mobbed by enemies. I held up my crossbow, wondering how I had imagined using my only arrow. I awkwardly clutched the tinder box in my right hand as well, wanting both items at the ready. Trying not to give myself time to think, I ran for it.

A goblin immediately spotted me, calling his four companions with him as I pelted towards the mine entrance. I took my shot when they clustered together as they ran, figuring I'd have a better chance to at least hit _something_. I did. It was a tree. "Damn it." I noticed there was still a bolt nocked in my bow. "Huh?!" Really, I'm not sure why I was still surprised. I didn't let them use my shock to their advantage, but turned to awkwardly shoot as I ran, nearly losing my footing on a loose stone. To my further surprise, I heard a yell and realize I'd actually hit one of them.

I began moving more slowly, loosing bolt after bolt at the group of goblins. I watched the one I'd got in the shoulder take another in the leg, and another goblin flopped to the ground dramatically as soon as my arrow met his thigh. It was a case of quantity over quality; even someone as poor a shot as me can hit something when given an unlimited amount of self-nocking arrows. As we neared the mine and came within hearing range of the happy little pyro goblin, my pursuers called for help in a language I could not identify. The female looked up and grinned gleefully. I fired a shot at her that clattered uselessly against a boulder a dozen feet away. Her grin widened and she returned fire, lighting a stick of dynamite faster that I would have thought possible and lobbing it in my direction. "Holy sh-" _**BOOM!**_ I rolled away just in time. Blinking debris out of my eyes, I looked around and noticed I wasn't the only bad shot around here. Three dusty goblins scrambled unsteadily to their feet, screaming what I assume to be obscenities at the explosive-happy female as they continued their chase. The little wimp I'd left on the ground clutching his leg never stood a chance.

This time I didn't even try to shoot, simply running as fast as my legs would carry me, unsure of how I'd dispatch the crazed goblin once I got to her. Perhaps she's blow us both up with the mine and save me the trouble. _**BOOM**_, this one was easier to dodge, for me at least. I heard several high-pitched screams from behind me. I wondered if she was a disgruntled employee and this was a disgruntled goblin's idea of fun.

I was closing the gap. Thirty feet._** BOOM! **_Not even close. Twenty feet . . . only a dozen more paces . . . Her next shot was true. A red stick the size of a large candle hit me in the chest. I caught it automatically, surprised as I felt the sparks singeing my blouse and chin. I stopped. I looked at the goblin. The goblin looked at me. Our eyes met. I threw the stick of dynamite back in her face.

_**BOOM! **_Neither of us stood a chance.


	4. Chapter 3: Triage

**Author's Ramblings: **I meant for more to happen in this chapter. I also meant for it to be funnier. In the end, I was reasonably satisfied with this and will endeavor to make the next chapter more exciting. I'd also like to thank PolyPtera for proof-reading, swapping drafts with me at all hours of the day, and practically writing a paragraph for me.

**Chapter 3: Triage**

The sky was grey. That didn't seem too unusual, until I noticed the trees were grey, too. I decided I must be lying down, although I couldn't feel my body. I stood by will-power alone, and found myself facing a hooded figure with large wings. Grave stones dotted the ground at her feet. _Ah, I must be dead, _I thought. _Finally. _

"_Hero, this world expects great things from you yet," _the voice was whispery and throaty, seeming to come from the hooded figure, although she made not motion. _"I am the Spirit Healer. I can return you to your living self."_

I felt my heart sink. "No, that's OK," I was relieved to be able to communicate with this entity. "I . . . I think I want to move on."

_"You do not wish . . . to return?" _her voice was fading slightly, as was her body. _"You are . . . certain?"_

To my own surprise, I hesitated. "The place I'll go," my voice broke slightly, and I cleared my throat, "is it . . . is it nice?"

_"Filled with more peace . . . and beauty than you can . . . imagine . . ." _I strained to hear her last words, and watched as her form melted away, to be replaced with what looked like a large mirror. The edges were fuzzy, but the images inside were the only things with color in this place. Beautiful colors, some I've never seen before. I saw joy incarnate, images bringing peace I never really thought I'd have. In the distance a small, beige form bobbed through perfect green grass. "Poko?" I cried, my legs carrying me towards the scene without conscious thought. I reached my hand out. This was it. I only had to enter this place, and all my dreams would come true, all my pain would be a dark stain on the carpet of a house I'd never visit again. My fingers met the portal, and it was like touching water of the perfect temperature, cool and refreshing, but clean and soothing. Warmth rushed up my arm like a welcome embrace. I lifted my foot, ready to take that final step . . .

A hand roughly seized my shoulder and yanked me back. Everything went black for a second, and then . . . "Arise, young hero! By the light, _live_!" I bumped into a cold wall of plate mail in a flash of searing yellow light. "The Light has blessed you, lady! If I had taken mere seconds longer to reach you, your soul would have been lost to us forever!" A young man grinned down at me with wide, innocent eyes filled with pride and wonder at the beautiful miracles his Light can preform.

I slapped him.

* * *

"Would you like some more ice?"

"No." I lightly knocked my head back against the wall in irritation. _**Thump.**_

"Would you like a prayer journal?"

"No." _**Thump.**_

"Um, shall I have the healers fetch you some water?"

"No." _**Thump.**_

"Would you like a pillow?!" Ralph practically begged, grabbing one from the cot next to mine and attempting to shove it behind my head before the next _thump _sounded.

I glared at him as my head met the offensively soft object. He smiled warmly down at me. His name was Ralph Spurling and he was a paladin. He didn't even get mad after I slapped him earlier; he looked sad and hurt like Poko would if I accidentally stepped on his tail. Then the soldier I'd rescued from the worg earlier, whose name I would learn to be Don Claude, scrambled down the rubble to meet us, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me, "Calm yourself, hero! There are no more enemies here!" It was the shaking that gave me the jolting realization that, although alive, I was far from fine. Every inch of my body felt bruised, and I noted that my left eye was glued shut with dried blood, not sleep gunk. Through the ringing in my ears I distantly heard Don explaining, "She's new to the battlefield yet; you should have seen her blanch when that worg bled out on her arm! This lady saved my life, though; saved all our lives. I've yet to see a braver recruit, eh lass? Lass?" My vision dimmed and I clutched my throbbing head. My hand came away wet and sticky. Still bleeding, then. _Dammit, _I thought. _If I'm about to humiliate myself by fainting, I better at least wake up dead! _My extremities lost all sensation, and everything went black. Needless to say, I did not get my wish.

I woke in the Northshire Abbey infirmary. A man in white robes was pacing away to my left, seeing to the occupants of other cots, many of whom were groaning loudly or bleeding profusely. The man who had resurrected me, effectively ripping away my greatest wish, loomed above me, grinning inanely. He introduced himself as Ralph Spurling, the humble paladin still training in Stormwind. He blathered on about how sorry he was that he didn't know more healing spells, and how it was such a shame there were so many more severely injured than I, otherwise the healers could have had me completely healed within seconds instead of casting a slow-acting mending spell on me and leaving me to rest. _Blah, blah. _Something about mana. _Blah, blah. _On, and on he went. It wasn't until he remembered the healer had given him a sack of leather filled with ice for my head, which he promptly smacked against my face before noticing it had melted into a leaking, sopping mess in his lap, that I noted a word he was saying.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" he gasped, trying ineffectually to wipe away the water from my face with my sheets wile I attempted to shove the near-gushing sack of chilled water back into his hands. He stepped back, flushing beet red and dripping sadly on the stone floor. I hated him. Oh, it wasn't the water. It wasn't even his pretentious, righteous ramblings. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I knew anyone else would have been grateful to the man that saved their life, but all this young paladin was to me was the person who ripped me away from happiness, right when I had finally found it. I glared wordlessly at him, trying to convey all my bitterness and hate into my stare. And so our present conversation began. And thus it continued.

"Are you _sure _you don't want more ice?"

_**Thump. **_Less meaningful with the pillow.

"Is this the woman of the hour?" I was both surprised and grateful to see Marshal McBride enter the infirmary and address me, of all people. I didn't really want to be alone with Ralph. It was awkward wanting so badly to strangle someone who always looked so friendly. McBride paused a respectful five paces from my cot. "Why are you wet?"

I pushed my soggy bangs out of my eyes and gave Ralph another venomous glare. The paladin sloshed awkwardly in a growing puddle of cold water, trying to subtly stem the leak while looking respectfully at the ground as his superior entered. "Ah, I see you took my advice about the pet," continued McBride coolly. "Maybe you should house-break your next one."

I didn't think it was possible for someone to flush a deeper red, but Ralph somehow managed. My glare faded and I felt a pang, a slight flush creeping upon my own face. Images of my final encounter with my chemistry professor came unbidden to mind. _"You'd think someone who goes through the effort to cheat would at least come begging in clean clothes. Look at you, you're nothing but a filthy, lying thief and your nose is going to drip on my desk." _I tried to explain, tried to tell him Sam stole the answer key to his mid-term, not me. _"Isn't he your boyfriend? Now that is low, even for you. Get out of here; you're embarrassing yourself."_

Forcing those painful memories to the back of my mind, I held out my hand before my better judgment could take over, gently prying the leather bag from Ralph's hands. He blinked at me in surprise, and I carefully sucked a sip of foul-tasting water from the largest tear. "Thanks for the water, Ralph; I'm sorry I spilled it everywhere. I'm not used to drinking out of flasks." I quickly busied myself with tugging a sheet off my cot and throwing it over the puddle at Ralph's feet so I wouldn't have to look either of my visitors in the eye.

"Er, I see," the Marshal cleared his throat. "Ahem. I apologize for disturbing you before your recuperation is complete, but breaks are hard to come by around here and I wanted to talk to you wile I had a chance, miss . . . ?"

"Mara Somerset," I said, forcing myself to look at him.

"Lieutenant Don Claude informed me you went against my orders, blowing up half my valley and nearly getting yourself killed in the process." He looked at me expectantly.

"_Nearly_," I muttered darkly. "I -"

"Nearly, indeed!" Ralph cut me off. I could have sworn Marshal McBride's eye twitched. "Mara _did _give her life for the Alliance, without so much a thought for herself!" _Yeah, about that . . ._ "It was only because of the grace of the Holy Light - "

"Enough about the Holy Light," snapped McBride, turning on Ralph abruptly. "If the Holy Light is so _almighty _why couldn't it secure its own Abbey!? Well it's free of orcs now, and thanks to whom? A hunter that _doesn't even have a pet_. What did your precious Church do? Send me a babysitter down here while we do all the heavy lifting. And what credit will I receive? None, thanks to this suicidal hunter! If the Holy Light wants to be of use, why don't you take this report down to the General in Stormwind and your great Holy Light while you're at it and be out of my hair." The now-winded Marshal hurled a sealed scroll into my lap as though it was a javelin and stormed out, muttering about promotions and how he'd be stationed in Northshire for the rest of eternity.

"Wow," was all I had to say.

"What right does he have!?" huffed Ralph indignantly. "His forces easily beat back the remaining orcs after you blew up half their army with their escape route! You're a _hero, _and calls you _suicidal_!" My face grew hot at the tone of disgust in Ralph's voice as he spat his last word. Eyes suddenly down-cast, Ralph actually managed to make the moment more awkward. "Thank you, by the way," he abruptly dropped to one knee, and seemed to force himself to look at me. Oh, no. "You defended my honor, but I think I did a rather poor job of defending yours. Will you allow me to make it up to you?" He gave me a shy, sincere smile.

_I regret everything._ "Don't even mention it." _Please, for the love of the Holy Light._ Seeking escape, I threw my feet over the side of my cot that wasn't blocked with overly-humbled paladin and dumped the damp leather sack I'd caught myself clutching like a talisman on small supply table next to me. Liquid oozed half-heartedly into the wood, but I currently lacked the ability to give a crap about anything under Marshal McBride's care. Finding my singed sneakers tucked under the cot, I quickly crammed my feet into them and stood. A clatter of metal on metal behind me told me Ralph had risen, too. Damn, plate mail is _noisy._

"I see you're feeling better," I turned to see Ralph grinning good-naturedly at me. He was right; I'd been too busy alternately moping and being humiliated to notice, but I'd been seriously injured not ninety minutes ago, and now I felt fine.

"Damn," I said, glancing at the small store of bottles, bandages, and towels on the supply table with renewed respect. "What is this stuff? I was nearly dead!"

"The alchemists of Stormwind supply the salves and healing potions for the Abbey, but I think the miracle spell you're so impressed with is called _Renew._" I half listened to Ralph impound upon his respect for priests while I rifled curiously threw the bottles on the first shelf. I had been a chemistry major until I was kicked out not twenty-four hours ago, and I'd finally found something in this exciting new world to actually get excited about. I curiously popped the cork off of a rather chunky-looking lime green liquid.

"Oh, sweet Mother Earth, the _smell_!" I gasped, quickly corking the noxious green fluid. "What _is _this?!"

Ralph leaned over my shoulder, "That? Phew!" he waved the tainted air away from his face. "That would be anti-venom; you don't even want to know what part of the fel goat is used for _that _one."

For the first time in what felt like months, I grinned. Reaching above my head for the failed, emptied ice pack, I poured the contents of the green bottle inside, carefully holding it so none would leak out. I then handed it to Ralph, "Here, hold it just like this or you'll never get that smell out of your armor."

"What are you doing?" asked Ralph as he humored me.

I smirked mischievously at him and replied, "Defending my own honor. Or proving I have none. You'll see." Glancing around to make sure no healers were looking my direction, I swiped a crisp white towel from the shelves and laid it carefully over my vacated cot. I carefully took the anti-venom-filled sack from the curious paladin and laid it in the middle, swiftly swaddling it before it could leak. I may not be a good hunter, but I'd spent my last summer as a maid at a local resort hotel and I was damn good at towel art. In less than a minute the foul goat surprise was carefully concealed in a perfect towel puppy.

"So _that's _how they make those!" Ralph sounded impressed. "Could you do that a little slower; I think I missed a step . . ."

A healer in white robes seemed to be making his way down the line of beds, checking on patients and heading our way. I ripped a blank page off of a clipboard and began quickly scribbling on it. Ralph looked over my shoulder and I heard a funny chocking sound. I looked up and saw he'd stuffed his fist in his mouth to smother a laugh. "Add, 'give it a cuddle'," hissed Ralph, snickering. I slipped the hand-made card into a fold in the towel on the puppy's chest.

I stood from my crouch as the healer approached my cot, hoping Ralph could keep a straight face. "Sir, I'm feeling much better."

"Oh, that's good to hear," the robed man smiled. "Feel free to continue resting here as long as you need, and let me know if you'd like me to fetch you a healing potion."

"Thank you, but Marshal McBride wanted me to take this very important scroll to Stormwind for him, and I'm feeling up to that. I'd so like to thank him for his hospitality and the opportunities I've found here at Northshire, but he seemed awfully busy. I made this for him," I stuffed the towel puppy into the healer's arms, and he accepted it bemusedly. "Could you please run it to him? He seemed so stressed. Burden of command and all. Oh, hold it just like that! They're delicate. I want the Marshal to see it before it falls apart."

"Um, sure; I'll give this to him right now," the healer began backing towards the exit, Trojan Puppy in his arms, "I think he's just down the hall having a quick lunch . . ."

"Dump it right in his lap! He's gonna want to give that fluffy little guy a good cuddle!" I called cheerfully after him.

Ralph and I watched him go, careful to avoid eye contact until he had rounded the corner. I risked a glance at him out the corner of my eye. We both burst out laughing. After several seconds during which we were both doubled up and several bed-ridden soldiers gave us either glares or confused stares, Ralph asked, "So, what now?"

"We go to Stormwind," I heard a roar of anger from the general direction the healer had taken. "Right now." Grabbing Ralph's hand, I bolted in the opposite direction of the enraged yells, still snickering to myself. This wasn't the peace I was seeking when I blew myself up, but it was the most fun I'd had in months, and it would have to do for now.

**For Dear Marshal Mcbride, in thanks for his hospitality. **

**I think you deserve a pet, too.**

**You'll find this one as house-broken as a man of your dedication **

**and abilities can expect.**

**Give it a cuddle for me!**

**Respectfully,**

**Mara Somerset and the Goat of Holy Light**


	5. Chapter 4: Discovered: Stormwind!

**Author's Note: **So, I cranked this out in a day. I'm actually quite proud of myself, although I hope the speed isn't evident in the writing. You'll notice I'm tweaking Azeroth to fit a story and not a game, and I plan on ignoring the concept of leveling completely. I also made Vin a little older than she looks in the game because A.) I don't want my characters dragging around a child so helpless the story centers around baby-sitting, and B.) if the NPC's were actually aging, she would be older.

**Chapter 4: Discovered: Stormwind!**

It did not take long to reach Stormwind. In fact, the heavily-fortified port city was so close to Northshire Valley that I had to wonder how the orcs worked up the gall to attack it. Guards armed to the teeth stood at the entrance and we had to walk over a bona fide moat to each the city proper. A steady trickle of tradesmen, adventurers, and military personnel flowed in and out of the gates. Some were searched, but Ralph only raised his shield in salute and gave a polite nod and we passed unmolested. I'd never been to anything more impressively medieval than a mini-golf course before, and I couldn't help but gawk at the high stone walls and larger-than-life statues as we passed them. Large, winged animals were departing and landing in a gap high in the wall to our right. I didn't think much of them until we rounded the corner, entering the Trade District and one of them swooped down over the wall, landing in front of me and coming so close I felt its claws brush my head. Ralph seemed to be holding back a laugh as I ducked, covering my head with my arms and letting out an embarrassingly high shriek.

"Sorry 'bout that! Gotta get to the Auction House while I still have time to bid," called a humanoid figure as he dismounted and hit the ground running, not even looking back as he dragged a black griffon through the throng after him. A guard shouted after him to look where he was going.

"What _was _that?!" I asked Ralph, raising my head cautiously.

"The griffon? Haven't you traveled by griffon before, Mara?" I barely heard his reply, so shocked was I by my surroundings. Looking around properly for the first time, I saw . . . I saw so _much._

"Not the griffon; I guessed that one," I said faintly. "I mean, what was _riding it?_ His ears, and his _skin_ . . ." I pointed to something bouncy and tiny that appeared to be selling lumps of twisted metal, "And what is _she?_ And that! Does it have _hooves_?! Can I pet that talking panda?" I wasn't sure where to look; there was so much I'd never seen before.

I felt an unexpectedly warm draft against the back of my head. "Excuse me, but could you move along?" asked a haughty voice from above me. "You're completely blocking the path." I looked behind me, only to have my nose brush something squishy and grey and covered with rough little hairs. It blew noisily in my face, this time depositing a spray of snot. I shrieked again, stumbling back and landing on my backside in shock. A pale, haughty face peered around the mammoth's dome-shaped head, regarding me with distain, "Oh, it's you. I thought I recognized that shriek."

"Ah, good afternoon, Miss Rosemane," said Ralph rather distantly as he helped me to my feet and I attempted to keep the remains of my dignity by ignoring the warlock's comment.

"Oh, I see the Church has taken you in. Isn't that . . . charitable of them," she giggled childishly into her palm, giving Ralph a rather predatory glance. Ralph and I were pushed back in her mammoth's wake as she passed, nose in the air and voidwalker bobbing dutifully behind.

"So, " I asked Ralph conversationally, "we hate her, right?"

"She is a servant of darkness," he replied, as though that made it obvious. He raised his eyebrows at me, "She seemed to know you."

"We've met," I said shortly. I didn't want to think about that embarrassing encounter. Anyways, for all I knew Ralph might try to slay me like the demon spawn I am if he knew I'd been summoned by her after offing myself in another world. I wondered why I suddenly found the thought of being slain undesirable, and firmly told myself it was because I could not, now that I knew it was possible, die before I spoke with a panda.

"Alright," Ralph kindly dropped the subject. "But, Mara, have you really never seen a Night Elf before? Where were you raised?" _On a pig farm in Alabama?_ I felt he wanted to add.

"Somewhere without _those_," I pointed at a pair of what I hoped were women (they were in silken white dresses), with blue skin, horns, and (somehow this was the worst part) tails poking out of slits in their clothing. "And which ones are Night Elves?" I glanced around, but there were so many different creatures crammed into the cobblestone street I couldn't even tell which were sentient, let alone decide what could be classified as an "elf".

"Well, the gentleman who bumped into you on his griffon was a Night Elf . . ."

I cut him off, "Gentleman?" I asked doubtfully.

"Alright, the clumsy lout," laughed Ralph. "And those two ladies," he pointed to the ones with tails, "are called Draenei. Their race has a very strong connection with the Light. You can learn so much from speaking with them. Ah, and that scrap vendor there is a Gnome. Much can be learned from them, too, if you've the patience to listen." I gathered he didn't. "And there, the tall, large one with the staff, is a Pandaren -"

I couldn't help it; I laughed. "Pandaren? The talking pandas are called _Pandaren_?" I giggled uncontrollably into my hand, watching the hulking, fuzzy anomaly inspect a notice board in the square ahead. I seemed to be the only one giving him a second glance.

"Yes," Ralph frowned. "The Pandaren are a wise and mysterious race from the newly-discovered land of Pandaria." I was now doubled over laughing. "Um, maybe we should head towards the Command Center. I'll tell you more about the races of Azeroth as we go . . ." he tugged at my arm, casting a nervous glance at the panda, er, excuse me, the _Pandaren _at the end of the street, who was now glaring at me with what I can only assume was meant to be menace. It was adorable.

Ralph pulled me down a lane to our right, then under an archway that led to a network of canals. We crossed a small bridge and entered a district of town in which the roofs were tiled in red. "This is Old Town," Ralph informed me. "Grand Marshal Helms is likely to be the best one to give that report to."

"Likely? You're not sure?" I asked dubiously.

Ralph shrugged. "I work for the Church, not the military. They can be one and the same at times, but I've barely completed enough training to be allowed missions of my own. Anyways, I know Helms is the usual liaison for off-site posts, and he spends his shifts in the Command Center."

"Alright." I peered curiously around as Ralph settled into a very scholarly lecture on the races of Azeroth and their histories. He seemed very knowledgeable, and I listened to his outlandish tales as one would a children's story until we made our way through another archway and into a grassy court with two large buildings, several training dummies, and a corral full of horses.

Grand Marshal Helms was standing beside the building directly in front of us, looking over a small stack of documents. Ralph cleared his throat politely and said, "Sir, we've come from Northshire Abbey with a report from Marshal McBride."

The Grand Marshal looked up hopefully, "Why, I was just trying to figure out who I could send down to check on things there. We all heard an explosion this morning, and I feared the worst."

Ralph inclined his head in my direction, and I took that as a hint and held the scroll out to the Grand Marshal, "Um, I think things are going a bit better there than you expected."

Helms took the scroll from me and immediately began to read. I watched his eyes grow wide, then wider, and a grin spread across his face, "_Sending word with the hunter whom achieved this victory,_" he read aloud. I wondered how much bitterness had gone into _those _words. Helms looked up, "Hunter?" he glanced quickly at Ralph, then at me. "You? Are you the one who made all this happen?"

"I set off the explosion, yes," I confessed awkwardly. My ulterior motives made it difficult to feel proud of the achievement.

Helms chuckled and clapped me good-naturedly on the shoulder, "And modest, at that!" Ralph beamed in agreement. Oh, this was embarrassing. "I didn't even recognize you as a hunter at first glance, without a weapon or even a pet . . ."

"My crossbow was destroyed in the explosion," I wasn't even going to comment on the pet.

"Oh, no!" he cried. "We can't have that! You'd think they'd have found you a replacement at the Abbey." At this both Ralph and I looked awkward; we hadn't exactly left them with time or reason to shower us with parting gifts. "Follow me; I'll take care of it." We followed him into the Command Center. Inside were several people, a couple of whom were arguing over pricing with a man in official-looking robes. We passed a young woman with a wolf as Helms walked up to a group of three, chatting by the stairs. One had a very obedient mastiff by his side, and they all had various projectile weapons strapped to their backs. "Oiy! Wulf!" called the Grand Marshal amicably.

"Brandon, what can I do you for?" replied a long-haired, bearded man in the back.

"I heard you got a new crossbow today. Would you do the Alliance a favor and give this young hero your old gun?" asked Helms, nodding in greeting to the man and woman who had been talking with Wulf.

"Young hero, eh?" asked Wulf, giving me a very wolfish grin. "What's so heroic about you, lass?"

My mind was decidedly blank. Whatever they said, I definitely did not feel like a hero. McBride was right; I was a suicidal hunter who still wasn't sure what a hunter actually was. Fortunately, Ralph came to my rescue, "Mara gave her life for the Alliance! She single-handedly eliminated the orc problem in Northshire Valley, and she did it all without a pet!" but did he have to do it quite so_ thoroughly? _I was blushing again.

Wulf let out a barking laugh, "Well, you do sound quite the hero! What's the matter, though; cat got your tongue?"

"Stop teasing, Wulf! Can't you see she's distressed?!" the speaker was the dark-haired one with the mastiff, which he was stroking lovingly on the head.

"I'm not -"

I was immediately cut off, "She doesn't have her _pet!" _he glared at Wulf for his lack of sensitivity. Wulf rolled his eyes, as did the woman on his left. "Tell me," he turned to me, "what happened to your pet, dear?"

"Um," I was shocked to find tears coming to my eyes and I recalled the catalyst that set me on the quest to end my life, "I . . . I don't have a pet. I had a dog, but . . ." I cleared my throat, forcing myself to regain composure. This was ridiculous. Ralph attempted to put a hand on my shoulder, but I gave him a look that suggested he would not have that hand for long and he seemed to think better of it.

"Poor dear," I saw tears forming in his eyes as well, which, frankly, was even more ridiculous. "Have you not learned _Resurrect Pet_?" he began rifling through his bags, and pulled out a very thin leather-bound book. More of a pamphlet, really.

"_Resurrect . . . pet?_" I asked incredulously, wondering what on earth this man could be on about.

He looked at me in surprise, "You are very green, aren't you, lass? Oh, don't worry; I've got all the texts a hunter needs to start out! You can have these; I couldn't charge a grieving hero of the Alliance!"

The woman groaned, "_Don._"

"Not this again," Wulf finished for her. Grand Marshal Helms and Ralph stood behind me, watching the scene unfold with undisguised curiosity. "When we agreed to let you join the Trainer's Guild you agreed to charge the same fees as everyone else, so it's _fair _and we all make _money_, instead of every big-eyed hack with a sob story coming to you and getting free training."

Don gave Wulf a hurt stare, "But the Grand Marshal here says she's a hero, and you were about to give her a gun . . ."

"I _never _said that. Never," stated Wulf firmly.

Helms cut in before things could go any further, "You'll be paid for your gun, and your texts. I'll have the militia of the Alliance write you both checks and send them over as soon as we're done here. Is the word of a Grand Marshal good enough for you?"

Wulf's smile returned with a vengeance, "You know it is, old friend." They shook on it, and with a rather amused glance at Don and a polite nod for the rest of the group, the Grand Marshal left the building to return to his innumerable duties.

Don piled a stack of leather-bound texts in my arms, some larger than others but most about the size of the first. Wulf slapped a bulky silver handgun with a holster on top of it all. "Thank you," I stammered, feeling guilty. I didn't really intend to use any of this, but it happened so fast and I wasn't sure how to politely decline the Grand Marshal's offer.

Wulf gave the gun one last loving pat, "Bronze and silver, complete with a standard endless ammo bullet, of course. You take care of her."

My attention was suddenly caught, "Endless ammo?" My mind went to the mystery of never-ending arrows nocked in my crossbow.

Wulf gave me a funny look, "You really are a green hunter, aren't you? We have special ammo engineered for us. It's enchanted to never run out until the enchantment breaks, and it makes your weapon easier to fire and aim." I considered that I'd never fired a crossbow before today, and I realized it was very strange that it hadn't been harder for me. "It's almost impossible to miss with good endless ammo, given you're focusing hard enough on your target."

"There are tips for increasing your concentration and mental control in this text," Don chimed in, pointing to the third book in the stack. "But let's focus on what's really important right now; getting your pet back!"

"But I don't - " I began.

"Since this is a rather difficult spell," Don interrupted once again, "I'll do it for you, just this once! You should study hard after this!" He phrased it as though I'd failed a pop quiz. I wondered what would happen when the spell failed. I didn't have a griffon or _Snuffleupagus_ or magic mastiff that can stand patiently for ten times longer than any normal dog could. Maybe they'd take their books and enchanted gun away and send me off in disgrace. _Oh, well_, I thought.

Don began waving his hands dramatically, muttering an incantation I couldn't quite hear. It went on for several seconds. _Well, this was fun_ . . . I was just wondering if now was a good time to leave when I saw a bright yellow light for the second time that day and a wriggling form flung itself at my knee with the force of a rather determined teddy bear. "_Poko?!_" I gasped in disbelief.

"Yeah, I can see why you didn't rez that one . . ." commented Wulf.

Ignoring Wulf, I dropped to my knees and stared in wonder at the scruffy beige shih tzu before me. I examined the creature as well as I could during a flurry of face licks. Same serviceably short hair. Same hideous under bight. Same exuberant personality. "Is it . . . really him?" I asked Don incredulously, images from _Pet Cemetery _coming unbidden to mind.

"Of course; why wouldn't it be?" asked Don. "Ooze a wittle slobbery-slob? Ooze my wittle dwooly girl?" I looked over and saw he was also on the ground, and seemed to be playing some kind stretching game that involved lots of baby talk with his dog's drooping lips. Wulf looked like he was about to vomit and the female hunter trainer was chatting with one of the robed officials, pretending she didn't know the soppy man.

"You've seen the Light do greater miracles," Ralph cut in. "Your own resurrection, for instance . . ." he looked a little put out that I was more grateful to Don than him.

"You're right," I said, still clutching my dog in amazement, half expecting him to disappear. I turned to Don, "Thank you. I don't know how to thank you."

A grin spread across Don's slobber-encrusted face, "I couldn't have done less! I can't imagine the pain of losing a companion like that; I'm not sure I could go on!"

I flushed at how uncomfortably close to home that statement landed. Poko wriggled happily as plate-covered fingers mussed the hair on his head. Ralph smiled down at my dog, who wagged his tail faster than a propeller and licked his gloved hand. "I can see why you missed him," Ralph commented, seemingly over his brief pout. "I need to update the Church leaders on the status of their Abbey. Would you come with me?"

"Yeah, sure," I said in a daze. I had my dog back. Poko was really alive. I stood and followed Ralph out of the building, stammering thanks as I went.

Once outside the building, I made Ralph hold Poko while I strapped my new gun to my waist and carefully adjusted my books so I could hold them and the dog at once. "Why do you need to hold him?" asked Ralph. "Won't he follow you?"

"More or less," I said, distracted with the holster's buckle. "But I don't have a leash and I don't want him to get hit by another c - " I stopped myself and couldn't help but laugh. Mammoth, maybe, but I hadn't seen a single car. "You know what, never mind; put him down. This place is pretty enclosed. It may actually be _less _dangerous than where we were before."

So we returned to the canals, Poko bobbing happily along, sniffing everything and leaving his mark on an unfortunate yak tethered outside a shop its rider was in.

Ralph's home and our destination was in the Cathedral Square, which had golden roofs and tall white buildings. The report was an awkward affair in which I insisted I wait outside because how rude would it be to go into a church with a dog? Then Ralph scooped Poko up and put him in my arms, informing me a great hunter like me would surely be allowed to at least carry her pet. I then caved and simply told Ralph that I didn't want any more attention. Ralph then told me a selfless hero needn't be so modest, after which I screamed that I'd only been trying to commit suicide when I blew up those goblins. Ralph then called me a selfish coward and stormed into the cathedral, leaving me alone on the stairs with my dog and my depression.

_Well, what now_? I wondered. I glanced at the gun at my side. Poko licked my hand. Could I leave him alone? Poko loved everybody, though. Surely someone would want him. I'd just convinced myself to go back to Don and ask him if he wanted a second dog when Ralph came charging down the stairs, "Wait! Where are you going?!" he seemed winded.

"Why do you care? I'm just a selfish coward," I said, trying not to show how close I was to crying.

"No, I don't think you are," said Ralph firmly. "At this stage of my training, I'm supposed to find a noble cause to uphold and not return until I have made a marked improvement on this world. If I fail, I cease to be a paladin. I've decided, my noble quest will be to make you want to live!" at that, he knelt before me, holding his hand over his heart and bowing his head.

I was gob smacked. Was he serious? "So . . . I'm your school project? What, are you writing your thesis on me?!" I was almost yelling. I may have been touched if the whole thing wasn't so patronizing.

Ralph looked up at me, frowning. "You're not very grateful, are you?"

"_Grateful_?!" I shrieked. "Grateful to be your damn guinea pig, sentenced to turn into a raving lunatic for your weird Light cult - "

"Excuse me?" an unexpectedly innocent voice interrupted our fight. "Mister, Miss, have you seen any balloons around here?"

I paused, fist aloft in a gesture of righteous indignation, and stared at this new spectator. It was a child, I guess. Female, and belonging to that weird tailed race. The Draenei? "Balloons? Aren't you a little old for balloons?" I struggled to keep my tone civil. The kid looked to be about twelve, definitely old enough to know better than to interrupt a righteously indignant rant. Although, really I had no idea how this race developed.

The girl looked at me with wide eyes, suggesting just a little too much innocence. Ralph, of course, interrupted my speculations, "Don't listen to her; she's just a fuddy-duddy." Did I just hear a grown man say '_fuddy-duddy_'? "Did you lose your balloon?" he asked kindly.

The girl nodded dramatically. "Yes, sir, and I'd like them back ever so badly! You see, my daddy brought them back from the Darkmoon Faire, and they're enchanted so the air never runs out of them! But, they all got away, all five of them, and this city is so big and I just don't know where to look!" she gasped a little, and her eyes began to water slightly. Ralph was completely taken in.

"Would you like us to help find your balloons?" Us? What is this '_us' _you speak of? Incredulous, I turned away and watched Poko attempting to engage another mastiff in a game of chase. The dog ignored him, sniffing a nearby flowerbed with as much dignity as a creature of lips that ample can muster.

"Oh, yes, mister!" the child gleefully replied. "Please find my five balloons!"

"STOP!" shrieked a female voice. "Do NOT give that child any balloons!" A woman in a messy, greying bun and red robe was running towards us. Apparently this kid was on serious balloon restriction.

"Why not?" asked Ralph, looking slightly affronted. "Balloons are pretty harmless."

"To most children, yes," the woman sighed, "but Vin here is a special case. She's been trying to con passerby into giving her balloons since hers were confiscated after her first escape attempt. She's even stole from the orphanage's meal funds to pay people!"

"I don't _belong _there!" cried Vin indignantly. "The food smells funny and I have a dad I can live with, if you'd just let me find him!"

The woman pinched the bridge of her nose. "Here we go again. Her father was killed while escorting a caravan from Shattrath to Nagrand. She is having difficulties accepting it."

"_They never found the body!_" shrieked the little girl, stamping her foot in fury.

"Are you sure her father is dead?" asked Ralph sadly.

"It's been over a year; he's not coming back," she replied firmly. "Please don't listen to Vin; losing her parents has left her a very disturbed child. You should hear what she has to say about that dog . . ." The woman nodded to the mastiff now lounging by Vin's feet, still resolutely ignoring Poko's playful advances.

"She's my - "

"None of that!" snapped the matron, cutting Vin off.

Ralph straightened, a resolute glint in his eye, "If she's causing you trouble, may we take her to Outland?" This infamous '_we_' he thinks exists. "We can look for signs of Vin's father, and perhaps she can find closure, or something better," he turned to me, grinning. "And I can meet A'dal! It's been my dream for a long time now! You, too, Mara! He's a being of pure Light, and I know you'll find your will to live if you speak to him!"

Vin was bouncing up and down eagerly, "Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease let me go!"

Her guardian looked rather relieved, "Well, alright, if you feel you can handle such an . . . exuberant charge. Do try not get her hopes up, please. It would be cruel." She looked rather sympathetically towards Vin for a moment, before shaking herself and walking away. I found the light spring in her step as she left the child behind rather ominous.

"Do you need to get anything before we go, Vin?" asked Ralph.

"Nope!" she said happily. "As long as I have Dotty, I don't need anything else!" I had the unfortunate feeling that Dotty was looking forward to this journey as much as I was.

"Alright, then!" cried Ralph, lacing his left arm through Vin's right and grabbing onto me with his other hand. "Come on!"

"I'm not going," I said, shaking off his hand.

"Of course you are," replied Ralph, not stopping for a moment.

"No, I'm not."

"Your dog is following us," he was right.

"You can have him!" Poko paused, turning back to give me his most pathetic stare, reserved only for when I had steak and when he knew he was about to get a bath. He added a small whine for good measure, then turned and continued trotting after Ralph and Vin.

Damn it. I chased after them.


	6. Chapter 5: Needy

**Author's Note: **I'd like to thank PolyPtera for allowing me to use her wonderful dog as a model for Poko.

**Chapter 5: Needy **

"Are we there yet?" cloven hooves knocked painfully against the back of my knees as the Draenei bounced eagerly behind me.

"Not even close."

"OK," she said passively. I breathed a sigh of relief. "How 'bout now?"

My fingers twitched towards my gun, but I grasped the reins all the tighter and said through gritted teeth, "We haven't even _left_! We're still waiting for this damn crone to _move her cart_," I pitched my voice so those last words would carry, "before we can even go through the gate!"

"Oh," said Vin from behind me. I have no idea what bet I lost that put the kid on my horse and not Ralph's. He made it sound like it had a lot to do with us both being light and fair and female but I suspect it had more to do with Vin being young and bouncy and annoying as hell. "Why aren't we taking griffons?" inquired Vin.

"I don't know, Vin, we just aren't," I sighed, telling myself to be more patient. I wasn't used to dealing with children at all; I didn't even have any younger siblings. Ralph had said it would take at least two days to reach the Dark Portal alone, so I figured I'd have to learn.

"'Cause, if we were on griffons, we'd be there in two hours," declared Vin impatiently.

I stiffened and turned to look at Ralph, who was decidedly avoiding eye contact. "Yeah, Ralph, why _aren't _we taking griffons?" I asked fiercely.

"Well," Ralph glanced at me, looking slightly ashamed, "It is traditional for a paladin to begin a noble quest to improve his world in a state of humility and simplistic poverty . . ."

"So, you're broke?" I asked flatly.

"Yes."

I looked at him doubtfully, "Then how did you buy all this food?" he did, indeed have a lot of food. Unless paladins were also meant to quest in a gluttonous stupor, there was no way we could eat it all before it went bad. After borrowing a pair of geldings from the Cathedral stables (I thanked my lucky stars I'd had riding lessons as a child) our first stop was a general goods store which Ralph emerged from carrying so many parcels of wrapped sandwiches, fresh fruits, and baked goods that I couldn't see the top of his head. An attendant followed him out, carrying a second pile of foodstuffs. Ralph strapped most of the food to his own horse, before giving me a strangely-textured purple saddlebag he'd also bought. He said it was enchanted to hold much more than it looked it could, as well as making the contents seem much lighter than they were. I was touched and grateful, although those feelings were somewhat marred when he crammed six whole cakes into "my" new bag.

"We're passing through Westfall," said Ralph as though that explained everything. "I'll always find a way to do this," he added quietly, a look of sadness and affection taking over his features.

"You're a grown-up, Mara," Vin chimed in. "Can't _you _pay for the griffons?"

An uncomfortable heat crept up my face. "Oh, look!" I said, "The old merchant finally moved; we should get going." I nudged my horse into a light trot, reaching into my bag and pulling out the first book my hand touched. It was entitled _Tracking; A Hunter's Guide to Stalking Everything from Antelope to Zombie._ I knew if I hadn't been so ignorant, the military probably would have giving me money instead of books and a gun I didn't know how to aim. I felt useless, and I hated it. Plus, I liked studying, and learning new things. I missed it already. So, I buried my nose in that outlandish volume, trusting my horse to follow Ralph's if I got too distracted.

I remained in a state of studious oblivion as we traveled, barely glancing up long enough to guide my horse as we passed through a very small but very busy village called Goldshire. I completely ignored Vin's attempts to pull me into some kind of guessing game, until Ralph had mercy on the both of us and offered to play with her. My concentration was only truly broken when a shadow fell over my text and I found myself squinting, barely able to make out words. I looked around in annoyance only to see that the sun had gone down. "Oh," I murmured in surprise.

"But I'm _hungry_," Vin was complaining "and my backside is numb and I think Mara's going to lead us off the bridge; she's not even looking where we're going!"

"Hey! Don't talk about people like - _whoa_!" I jerked the reins roughly to the left, just managing to keep my steed from marching into the stream below us. The gelding seemed to have as poor night vision as I did.

"See?" said Vin smugly.

"Now, be nice, Vin," Ralph chided mildly. "And don't worry; we're in Westfall now, so we can stop for the night and have dinner."

As we crossed the bridge the light improved, for the forest did not continue on this side of the stream. I could just see the orange glow of a fading sun to our right, as well as gently rolling hills with long brown grasses blowing in a pleasant ocean breeze.

"We're staying the night in _Westfall_? No wonder you didn't bring any money," Vin's tone reminded me of a brief family road trip I'd been on to Mexico during which my mother refused to leave the car and my father refused to leave the bar.

I looked curiously at Ralph, who replied in a surprisingly angry tone, "There's no shame in Westfall! These are good people; they've just fallen on hard times."

As Ralph's tone left no room for argument, our little group fell silent. It was a quiet night. The only sounds I heard were the clop of the horse's hooves, the rustling of the grass, and the sad sound of Dotty panting heavily at our rear. There was a small farm to our right, but no light shone from the house and the withered vines in the field suggested abandonment. A shadow detached itself from a rusty plow and ran at us, the dim light glinting off a blade. "Drop every piece of gold you have and I might let you live!" he shouted. He was closing the distance between himself and Vin and I's horse alarmingly fast, a manic glint in eyes that were barely visible under a muddy mop of matter hair.

I felt a strange rushing sensation from behind me, but was too busy fumbling with my holster to see what Vin was doing. She may be annoying, but she was just a child and I had to keep her safe. "Damn it!" my gun was stuck. Why the hell had I just spent the last two hours reading about finding rock people and not making sure I could _pull my freaking gun out of its holster_?!

"Woof!" a small yip sounded from behind and Poko flew under the horses, abandoning a very fascinating beetle in favor of the subject of his human's distress. I couldn't believe it. Poko, the most passive animal I had ever met, was coming to my rescue? According to the book I was reading, hunters and their pets have a very special bond, allowing for seamless teamwork and wordless direction. Maybe, just maybe, I was a hunter after all.

Poko flung himself at our attacker and he never saw it coming. How could you? His belly was three inches off the ground and his coat was the color of sand. The man stumbled to a halt not three feet from us as Poko hit his shin. And began licking his bare toes. _Thunk_! A round metal object hit the man in the face, and I nearly gave myself whiplash twisting my head around to watch the shield fly right back into Ralph's hand. The man flopped onto the ground unconscious, a helpless victim to Poko's invasive tongue.

"Wow!" called Vin from about a dozen yards in front of us. "You guys really took care of him! Why didn't you just run?"

"How'd you get over there?!" I cried.

"Because he looked hungry," Ralph answered Vin's question simply, dismounting his horse and removing a sandwich from the pile he carried. He walked up to the prone man whom had just attempted to end our lives and placed the sandwich on his chest.

"Well, I was going to say that breaking into a run might actually kill Dotty," I said, "but let's move on to the important question; _how did you get over there_?!"

Vin blurred, then appeared not a foot from our horse's face. "I blinked," she explained.

"You, you _blinked_?" I gasped in astonishment. "But, I've seen you blink plenty of times and you didn't do . . . do _that_! Is this a Draenei thing?"

I heard Ralph chuckle, "It's a mage thing. I guess we have ourselves a budding mage," he smiled at Vin as though she'd brought home a book report with good marks.

Vin smiled brightly, "My dad is the best mage there is!" she declared, climbing back onto the horse. "He was always going on long quests for the Alliance and coming back with the most amazing weapons and artifacts. He never let me in his study," she smiled mischievously, "but I did manage to sneak in once while he was away and learn this one spell." Once again I felt a rushing sensation behind me and Vin appeared a distance ahead of us.

"So, what I'm getting from this is that you don't actually need to be on the horse," I said. I let her back on anyways, and began practicing removing my gun from its holster, embarrassed by my failure earlier. Once I managed it once slowly I was able to do it reliably with little fumbling. I tried pulling it out and immediately aiming at objects in the distance, although I decided not to practice firing until tomorrow when the light was better. Vin seemed to find my antics very amusing; I could hear her giggling behind me. I decided to distract myself from the fact that I had both a loaded gun and a very annoying child on my horse by asking about another extraordinary event from our fight, "Ralph, that was amazing, what you did with your shield. How did you get it to fly back to you like that?"

"Oh, a lot of paladins can do that," said Ralph modestly, happily patting the shield at his back.

"I see," I said. I then asked something I'd been wondering about since I'd first seen Ralph and his shield this morning, "Why is there a bird engraved on your shield?" It was a rather unintimidating thing to see on a shield; a small bird flying with what appeared to be a strand of wheat in its beak.

"It's the Spurling family crest. This shield used to belong to my brother, Paul," explained Ralph.

"Oh, is your brother a paladin, too?" I asked.

"No," said Ralph, smiling sadly, "but he very much wanted to be."

"Oh, look!" cried Vin. "I think we're almost there. I'm sooo hungry!" The road was, indeed, about to pass under a massive stone wall that I can only presume led to civilization. Two guards stood by the entrance and a sign read,

**ABOLUTELY NO TRANSIENTS! NO EXCEPTIONS!**

Frowning at the sign, Ralph held out a sandwich absently, "Here, Vin, why don't you take the horses and stable them right next to the inn? You can eat this while you wait for us there."

"You got it!" Vin swiped the package out of Ralph's hand as she dismounted and barely gave him time to unburden his mount before pulling the beast along, my own horse and Dotty not far behind.

"Hey!" snapped one of the guards. "What business do you lot have here? We're not baby-sitters, you bums can't just leave your -"

"Spurling, is that you?!" the guard's companion cut him off. "Ralph Spurling, it's me, Tom Warren!" The man raised his visor, grinning and waving at Ralph.

Ralph looked up from his mountain of foodstuffs, "Tom? I didn't know you joined the People's Militia!"

Tom waved impatiently at his surly coworker, "The girl's fine, Rick; I know Ralph. He doesn't keep bad company." Rick grumpily waved Vin, who was impatiently fiddling with the wrapper of her sandwich, into the fortification.

Ralph jogged to his friend, leaving me standing next to a small mountain of food wondering why he'd unpacked it before we got to the stable, how we would pay for an inn, and why I'd elected to stay here instead of follow Vin. "And this is Mara Somerset; she's a brilliant hunter," Ralph was saying. "Come here, Mara!" I recalled my earlier inability to remove my gun from its holster and wished Ralph wouldn't introduce me with such high praise. I began walking towards the two men, but as soon as my back was turned a shadow swooped in, swiping a package from the top of Ralph's pile and running off, hiding in the shadows by the wall. This time I had my gun out in two seconds, trying to figure out if and where I should be aiming it. The sun was completely gone now.

"Hey!" Tom, Rick, and myself all shouted it, but it was Rick apprehended the thief, dragging him into the lamplight near the fort's entrance. I was surprised to see it was only a small boy, and a very dirty one at that. "Give that back you filthy urchin, or do you want to lose a finger?" threatened Rick, reaching for his sword.

"Let him go!" Ralph interjected quickly. "He can have it."

Tom sighed, "Not this again, Ralph. This kid's a thief, and he'll never learn if you just -"

"Save him from starvation?" Ralph finished angrily.

Tom shook his head irritably, then crouched down so he was nose to nose with the little boy, "Alright, this paladin's giving you a second chance, but if I catch you doing anything like this again, you're not going to be so lucky. _Do you understand_?" The child nodded his tear-stained face and darted away the second Rick released him. "Not even a _'thank you_'," said Tom in disgust.

"He's probably an orphan," said Ralph sadly. He turned away quickly and walked back to his pile of food, and I almost got the impression he no longer wished to be associated with the two guards.

I padded after him, suddenly finding myself wondering if it was safe to leave Vin alone here. "Ralph," I began, "I'm not so sure - "

"Will you please hand these out?" he began to pile packages into my arms, giving me his best winning smile.

"Hand these out? To who?" I asked in bewilderment. Ralph looked around meaningfully, and I squinted into the dark. People, so dirty and dejected-looking they faded into the grey wall, were strewn along the outer fort and along the road like someone's carelessly tossed litter. I thought I saw the boy that Ralph had rescued, huddled against the stone with a few other children.

"Oh," I said softly.

I watched Ralph walk boldly up to the group of children, offering them a cake to share. He moved amongst the people, handing out food and talking comfortably with them as he went. More people flocked to him, eagerly grabbing the proffered supplies. Feeling out of place, I stood under the archway, trying to catch a glimpse of Vin and the horses. I could just see her, sitting on a log and happily munching on her sandwich.

"You're traveling with Ralph?" I started at the voice behind me. Looking around, I saw it was only Tom.

"Um, yes, I suppose," I replied. Poko gave him a much warmer greeting, twirling giddily at his feet until the man gave him a pat on the head.

"Where are you going after this? I have a hard time believing such a powerful hunter would be traveling through these parts on a purely humanitarian journey," his smirk suggested he was familiar with Ralph's habit of giving higher praise than was deserved.

"We're going to the Dark Portal, to look for the child's missing father," I began, but a hesitant voice interrupted.

"Excuse me," I turned to see a very dirty youth behind me. I guessed female, but there was too much grime to tell for sure. "Do, do you have any food?" she asked shyly.

"Oh, yeah," I held out a package. "Here you go."

"Thank you! And for my sister, too?" she scuttled back into the ditch by the road and met up with a child younger than Vin who was chewing on her hair shyly.

"Of course," I got closer to them, kneeling down and offering a pastry this time. I couldn't help but return the child's happy smile as she ran down the lane crying "Chocolate! Chocolate!" excitedly. So it began. I was soon surrounded by a cluster of hungry, thin humans, all reaching for food, some politely, some less so. I ran out quickly, soon delving into my purple bag and giving them cakes to share. It was an over-whelming experience, but not unpleasantly so. I'd never done anything quite like it, and was surprised to find myself smiling. My smile faded as I ran out of food completely and the crowd melted away, some still hungry and disappointed. Only a woman and a child remained, but they weren't looking at me. The child was young, maybe five, and was crying inconsolably. The mother was cooing at her soothingly, but seemed close to tears herself. "I'm sorry; I don't have any more. The paladin on the other side of the road might still have some, though."

"Oh, dear, don't worry about us," the mother replied. "Someone already gave us a big piece of that cake you had," she nodded at a package by her feet. "Sarah's just upset about her necklace; that's all."

The child wailed loudly, "Daddy! I - lost - it - _daddy_!" it was hard to make out words in between gulps and sobs.

The woman's eyes suddenly brightened, "Say, are you a hunter?" I nodded, crossing my fingers behind my back as I watched Poko licking icing off an abandoned cake wrapper. "And you have a paladin with you? I heard you're going to the Dark Portal. Wouldn't it be faster to take a griffon?" she asked shrewdly.

"Um, yes, but we don't really have enough . . ." I began awkwardly, silently wondering what business it was of hers.

"I have thirty-six silver!" she blurted quietly, glancing around nervously to make sure no one heard her. "Ever since that sinkhole opened up during the Cataclysm, elementals have been prowling around here, attacking people and sucking up valuables like little tornados! One of them attacked Sarah today," the girl wailed again, "and she was lucky to escape with her life. But it sucked up her locket. Please, miss, it's the only picture I had of my husband, and all Sarah had left of her father. If you get it back, all I have is yours. I know thirty-six silver will get you and your companions to Nethergarde Keep; that's as close as you can get to the Portal."

"Get it back?" I was hesitant, and I had no idea if this woman was telling the truth. However, the thought of two more days on a horse shared by Vin was very motivating. "Alright, lady, you have a deal." I held my hand out to shake, and Sarah squealed in delight as her mother and I clasped hands.

"Mara, how are things going?" I heard Ralph's voice approaching. "Are you making friends?" he smiled at the sight of me shaking hands with the now-smiling vagrant.

"I've got a quest of my own," I told him. "Ralph, do you want to help me find this girl's locket?"

Ralph's face split into a huge grin, "I knew taking you along was a good idea; you're already acting like someone who wants to live."

"Oh, shut up," I said irritably.

To my surprise, Ralph threw up his hands and small veins of light appeared on the ground under us. The woman and I jumped back in shock, while the girl jumped up and down in the glow, crying, "Pretty, pretty!"

"Don't worry, consecrated ground only harms the undead and demons," Ralph assured us. "Now, little one, can you see your locket?"

"Oh, it's not here," I told Ralph. "An elemental took it."

"An elemental?" he frowned. "I'm not sure we'll be able to find it, especially in this light."

"Don't worry; I know how to find it!" I felt ridiculously smug that for once I knew something Ralph didn't. "I guess finding rock people wasn't the most useless thing to study today after all."

"You sure are a quick study," Ralph sounded highly impressed. "You only started that book a few hours ago."

I closed my eyes, trying to block out everything but thoughts of my earlier studies. It didn't sound complicated, more like meditation than anything. As the text recommended for beginners, I focused on my pet, Poko, first. I concentrated on everything I knew of his physical form; his bulbous brown eyes, his soft beige fur with black ticking, the beat of his heart, the moving of bone and sinew and he bobbed eagerly around Sarah to my right . . . _There_! I was so surprised I almost lost the connection. Even with my eyes closed, I could tell exactly where my dog was, and as I focused on that feeling a small, bright golden light danced around my eyelids, showing me Poko's energetic romping. Grinning to myself, I carefully changed my focus to another type of being. I used the visualization cues from my text, having never seen an elemental before. I filled my mind with roaring wind, flying dust, and a simmering anger that wished to suck the moisture from the air and life from the body. It took longer, but after a few minutes during which I tried to ignore Ralph politely hushing nearby conversation to help me concentrate, Poko's light flickered out, to be replaced with another, much farther away.

My eye lids flew open, and to my surprise I could actually see the faint glow in the distance described by the book after a successful tracking attempt. "It's there; in those hills!" I pointed towards the sea. I could see no other lights that were not obviously man-made, so it figured it could only be the elemental.

Ralph grinned at me and drew his sword. "To battle?"

"To battle," I said with considerably less conviction. I wondered how this would even work. Can you stab something that was made out of wind? I drew my gun anyways and led the way, Poko bounding happily along.

We covered ground quickly and were soon standing atop a small hill looking down at what appeared to be a very small tornado with ethereal appendages of some sort and eyes that looked extremely out of place amongst twisting debris. I wasn't sure what was stranger; the creature I was looking at or the scene behind it. A gaping chasm marred the land before us, stretching at least a mile wide. I couldn't see the bottom in the current light, although there seemed to be chunks of earth floating above and within it. "So, what's the plan here?" I asked Ralph.

The paladin was staring absently at the crater in front of us. After a long moment, he abruptly shook his head and answered my question, "We end its existence as a solid being, returning the earth and wind to its natural state. I'll stun it with my shield, and you open fire. It will probably take several hits."

So, it can die. That makes things simple. I pointed my gun, hoping my aim would be better with the gun than it had been with the crossbow. Ralph held his shield aloft. Poko stood in front of Ralph and wiggled his rear eagerly, repeatedly play bowing.

Ralph threw his shield and it once again flew at the enemy, knocking against the side of the tornado with the sound of crunching dirt. Two very out-of-place eyes swiveled oddly to meet Ralph's. "Uh-oh," said Ralph.

I wasn't looking at the thing's eyes. I was watching an equally upsetting scene unfold as Poko raced after what I could only assume he thought to be a giant Frisbee. I'd have to give an "A" for effort on that jump, but Poko's stubby legs barely made it six inches off the ground as he leapt for the shield right as it met the elemental. "Uh-oh."

I was expecting my dog to be very disappointed. I was expecting the elemental to rip him to shreds. I was not, however, expecting Poko to hit the elemental running, and go right through it. Or, rather, into it. The dog made a pathetic whimpering noise as he spun round and round, paws scrabbling frantically on nothing. Then the monster grew. It had been, perhaps, a little shorter than me, but it rapidly tripled in size, eyes taking on a red glow. The now-giant elemental lurched towards Ralph, a frantic Poko still entombed inside.

"Alright," I watched Ralph take a deep, calming breath. "My stun didn't work. This one must be special. Why haven't you opened fire?" He slammed a fist into the palm of his other hand and golden lightning crackled around him. One of the bolts struck the elemental, but only seemed to shatter one of the many dirt clods floating around the thing.

"Poko," I explained desperately. Ralph's eyes widened as he spotted my pet swirling helplessly in the living tornado, crying sadly. "I might shoot him . . ." We were both backing away at this point. "What do we do?"

"For now, run," Ralph motioned towards the abandoned farmland to our right, away from the village. He chivalrously made sure I ran ahead, side-stepping after me and keeping his shield in between us and our attacker.

We may never know what went on inside that elemental, but as a hunter I feel the bond between myself and my pet is strong enough to shed some light on it. Plus, Poko is predictable. What follows is what I'm pretty sure happened next, from Poko's point of view.

* * *

_This rushing sensation is not nice. The ground, instead of lying submissively under my paws, is flying rebelliously around me, evading my every step. I give every chunk of ground a good nip, to teach it who's boss. Chunks of ground explode in my mouth, gumming my teeth like peanut butter, but not tasting as good. I redouble my disciplinary measures; this flying ground will submit! _

_WAIT. What was that? Was that . . . ? I spun to face another direction. Spinning, unlike running, is much more satisfying in the air. THERE! It is!_

_"Ball!" I yipped. "Ball! Ball! Ball!" It was the opposite of a normal ball, for it floated stationary in the middle of the swirling ground, while I was thrown away from it. However, I am a very clever dog, and I saw through its clever disguise. It was round (sort of). It was in the air. It was red. It was a BALL, and it was going to be MINE! My cleverness astounded me even further as I realized that Master would be so pleased if I caught this ball that she would surely rescue me from this prison that was almost, but not quite, as bad as having a bath. This also seemed the kind of event that would lead to the Dreaded Bath and I decided the faster I made Master happy the more likely I was to avoid that fate. _

_Using my whole body, I flung myself at the ball. It did not help. However, if there's one thing I've learned in life it's this; if you fail, do the exact same thing again and again until Master notices you can't reach far enough under the couch and gets your stuffed octopus for you. I had flung myself in the direction of the ball exactly thirteen times when it happened. The earth fought back, countering my efforts to dominate it by slamming a large chunk of itself into my side. Hah! Joke is on the ground! The dominant slam only flung me close enough to the ball, and I found that if I stretched my jaws as far open as I could, I could finally grab it. It was a strange ball; rubbery and firm, yet crumbly like a tennis ball I found in the park that had been left in the sun all week. A strange roar sounded around me, but I wasn't scared. The ground was just trying to be dominant again, but I had won. I had its' ball. I gave it a good chew and the ground fell back into place in submission._

* * *

My mind raced as I listed to hurled rocks ricochet off of Ralph's shield. One got past him and bounced painfully off my shoulder. What now? What if I couldn't figure out the _Resurrect Pet _spell? It would be even worse if I only clipped him, and he was in pain. The thing chasing us let out a roaring wail, like a hurricane come to life. I felt a spray of dirt settled grittily against my back and in my hair.

"How . . . ?" I heard Ralph gasp in wonder behind me. I also stumbled to a stop, turning to see nothing but a fine layer of fresh dirt covering nearby grass in a twenty foot-wide blast zone, with my dog sitting in the middle of it. Poko trotted proudly up to me, depositing what looked like a slightly bloody dirt clod at my feet as though expecting a game of fetch. To his dismay and my profound relief, the thing disintegrated into dust the second it touched the ground. It was Ralph that offered him the praise he so clearly felt he deserved, scooping the dog up and holding him proudly above his head. "What a little hero! And here I had my doubts about you as a hunter's pet!"

"What _was _that thing he had?" I asked, watching the reddish dust blow away.

"That was its' heart," Ralph grinned at me while Poko licked his face, smearing him with mud and elemental gore.

I laughed, finding myself giddy with victory and relief. "I can't believe it! I had no idea how to save you, but you saved us," I smiled proudly at my dog, then a realization hit me and I looked around. "How are we going to find the locket? Bits of that thing flew everywhere!"

Ralph only handed me Poko in answer. I took him in my arms, allowing him to lick my chin happily. I then noticed he seemed to have acquired a new collar. I grabbed the thing hanging loosely from Poko's neck, pulling it off in shock, "This is the locket?!" I gasped.

"What that dog lacks in size and defensive abilities, he makes up for in luck," Ralph laughed.

We returned to the fort dusty and only slightly bruised, feeling triumphant. When we reached the gate, Ralph patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'm going to check on Vin and make we have beds tonight. Go give the girl her locket. This victory was all you; you should get all the credit."

"What? Oh, I couldn't," I started, but Ralph was already walking away, cheerfully waving at the guards and a few grateful transients as he passed.

"Don't even bother; Ralph's too noble to take credit for anything," Tom, the guard Ralph had spoken to earlier, surprised me by speaking. "He treats everyone here like family, and he acts like he owes them something."

"Why does he do so much for these people?" I asked curiously. "I'm pretty sure he spent every dime he had buying all that food for them today."

Tom shook his head, "That's so like Ralph. But didn't you know? Westfall is Ralph's home town." I shook my head and he continued, "His family owned a wheat farm, and they had a bunch of kids. I think he was the second of six. They fought hard to keep their land fertile and serve the king, even when the Defias gang controlled these parts. But then, of course, the Cataclysm hit, and Ralph lost everything. Did you see that big sinkhole by the coast?" I nodded. "That's where the Spurling farm used to be. Ralph was the only survivor, and he ran off and became a paladin like his big brother'd been threatening to do since he was a kid. Now things are unstable here. What with the Cataclysm destroying so many homes, and so many people ditching the Defias gang," he spit, "this area's become unstable. Lots of homeless. talk of rebellion. Ralph refuses to think ill of a single one of these bums, though. I think he sends almost every bit of money the Church gives him down here for repairs and aid."

I shifted guiltily. Ralph had lost so much more than me, but here he was actually doing something about it. All I've been doing is wallowing in self-pity. "The hunter's back! the hunter's back!" a child's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Oh, Sarah," I did my best to politely excuse myself from my uncomfortable conversation with Tom and walked over to the little girl. He mom was not far behind. "I got your locket. Or, more accurately, Poko did."

I handed it to the child and she screamed in delight. I was utterly floored when she threw herself at me and wrapped my waist in the tightest hug I've ever experienced. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" the girl continuously chanted.

Her mother chuckled, "I want to add my thanks as well," she began digging subtly threw her pockets, "and, of course, what we agreed upon . . ." she held out her fist, glancing around nervously.

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Was I really about to take all these people had? Maybe she was lying about how much money she had, but judging by the pair's frayed clothes and dirty hair that she was probably telling the truth. I thought about Vin, and the bruises I had on the backs of my knees from her repeated kicking. I then thought of Ralph, going without himself in an attempt to save these people from situation exactly like this. From people like me. "You know what," I sighed, "never mind. Keep it." The woman's eyes widened in shock, but she didn't take much convincing. He hand was back in her pocket before I could blink.

I was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "Thank you. You really are a hero," she choked quietly.

"Oh, I'm not . . ." but she was gone, fading into the shadows and taking her child with her.

Tom then had a funny coughing fit that sounded suspiciously like, "_Ralph's contagious!_"

_I guess there are worse things to catch,_ I thought to myself. Poko whined his best, "I want dinner" whine and gazed up at me sadly. I realized I, myself hadn't eaten since this morning and even though being suicidally depressed is a bit of an appetite killer, I was ravenous. "Come on, boy," I said to my dog. "Let's see if Ralph saved any food for us."


	7. Chapter 6: Epic Trinket

**Author's Note: ****(**This mini-fic takes place at some point before Time of the Twins and is not meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form. It is a direct response to this threat *ahem* I mean review:

"Raistlin 8/21/13 . chapter 6

If you don't update I will break down your door and lead an angry mob! :(" )

Cavy lounged in her desk chair, drinking her fifth bottle of water and listening to her tenth My Little Pony song, staring vacantly at a half-finished Word document. The door to her bedroom bursts violently open and she lets out a squeak of shock as three strangers enter, scattering various small animals and dog toys in their wake.

"Cavy!" gasps the robed stranger, leaning heavily on a bigger, well-muscled man who was armed to the teeth, "Too long have I awaited this day. Too long have my studies been held back, waiting for the next chapter . . ."

"No! Raistlin! Wait!" Cavy begs. Caramon unsheathes his sword threateningly. The third stranger wanders around the room, trying to stuff coat hangers in one of his many bags. "I have my reasons! I got a dog! I wrote a whole bunch and had to delete it 'cause it sucked!"

"NO EXCUSES!"

Tas tries to steal the computer mouse while Cavy cowers under Raistlin's rage, "Oh, is this the fan fiction she's writing for you, Raistlin?" he asks eagerly, eyeing the screen

Caramon's grip on his sword falters. "A fan fiction? I thought we were helping you retrieve an important spell manual!"

"I'm writing it now!" said Cavy pleadingly. "I'm almost done with this chapter!"

"I only see five pages! And why did we bring that damn kender anyways?!" Raistlin raised his staff threateningly.

"I'm sorry. It's a short chapter. You see, I changed my mind about where the story was going, and I'm writing a short one just to placate my readers after such a long absence . . . I promise I'm going to finish! I only have one or two more chapters planned and I've already written the epilogue!"

"I will spare you . . . for now. I better see an update by the time I get home, or I will return and begin my magical studies . . . on your dog."

He swept out of the room, Caramon right behind him. Tas bounced after them only after Raistlin called him, seeming to stagger under the weight of his bags. Cavy did not have time to mourn the loss of her favorite ceramic garden gnome. She typed furiously, motivation renewed.

**And that's how this update happened! Really!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Epic Trinket**

People say a lot of things about Duskwood. They say Worgen will eat you. They say the wolves are as big as horses but you're more likely to suffer a messy death at the hands of ghouls. They say you shouldn't eat the dusky crab cakes, no matter who tries to convince you they actually contain crab.

You know what they don't tell you? The fact that undead bear droppings smell about a thousand times worse than regular bear droppings. The fact you cannot walk down the road, let alone leave it to have a pee, without stumbling into a spider web the size of a bed sheet every six feet. The fact that dogs love to roll in both of these undesirable elements despite the fact that there is no clean water to bathe them in.

"Mara, he _smells_!" moaned Vin, not for the first time. I could feel both her and Poko fidgeting against my back, smearing my shirt with rancid bear leavings and sticky strands of spider web.

"I can smell him, too, Vin, but if we let him go he'll just run into another web," I sighed. " I _really _don't want to fight another spider big enough to eat my dog, no matter how tasty that toothless guy said the meat is."

It had been slow goings since we left Westfall this morning. Ralph had wanted to say good-bye to almost every transient camped out by the fortress wall. I was impatient, but felt secretly pleased when little Sarah ran to me for a good-bye hug. Once we were on our way, it did not take long to reach Duskwood. However, we had spent so much time fighting off the forest's natural wonders that it was well past lunch time and we still had about an hour's travel ahead of us before we reached Darkshire, the nearest village.

"Then why don't _you _hold him?" Vin continued her argument.

"Because I'm guiding the horse," and thank goodness for that, I added silently.

"Aren't hunters supposed to have control over their pets?" Vin grumbled. "Dotty hasn't got caught in any webs, although you can't really call her a dog."

"I'm not comparing Poko to something so old and confused even _you _can barely say she's still a dog," I huffed indignantly. Although, I had to admit Vin was right. My control over Poko had always been sketchy at best, and Dotty was the only one in our group who had yet to fall victim to a low-hanging web in the dim light.

"That's not what I -" Vin was interrupted by a bark and a low growl.

"Poko?" I turned in confusion. I'd never heard my dog make a noise so deep and menacing.

"That was Vin's dog," Ralph sounded surprised, but he drew his sword nonetheless, focusing on the road ahead. Dotty continued to growl, focusing with the intensity only a hunting dog can manage on the road before us.

Vin slid carefully to the ground, Poko still in her arms. "What's wrong, Dotty? There's nothing there; it's alright," Vin cooed worriedly.

"There is," Ralph, staring intently into the darkness, spotted it first. Poko wiggled out of Vin's grasp as she latched onto Dotty's collar to keep her from lurching at the hulking form down the road. I quickly drew my gun and dismounted, calling my dog back to me in hopes of avoiding a confrontation if at all possible. Poko, as usual, ignored my command and sprang towards something too bulky and too dark to be human. I jogged after my dog, gun at the ready. Ralph spurred his horse ahead, "State your business! We mean no harm!" he called.

"Ohohoho!" I stopped short in surprise at the sound of deep laughter. Ralph halted his horse but continued to hold his sword guardedly. A massive figure detached itself from the shadows, brushing off swaths of spider webs and carrying my dog. "He sure is friendly, is he yours?" asked the massive, coal-black panda.

I lowered my gun and gaped. I suddenly found myself laughing, "Yeah, he's mine. Sorry; he's covered in bear poop and he has no manners."

Ralph sheathed his sword and smiled at the newcomer, whose massive legs quickly covered the distance between us. The Pandaren placed my smelly dog in my arms, but I was too thrilled at his presence to mind. A real, live, talking panda!

I turned in concern when Dotty made a very strange noise behind us, a cross between a howl and a moan. The Pandaren man looked down at Vin and her near-hysterical dog, seeming to be concerned with the girl's level of control over her pet. Dotty growled again, and Vin gave her a shake, "Stop it, Dotty! He's not going to hurt us." The dog looked around as though expecting something terrible that wasn't there, then gave the Pandaren a hesitant sniff. The dog jumped back as though burned. "I'm so sorry, mister," said Vin. "She's really old and she gets confused sometimes. I don't think she's seen many Pandaren."

"And in her defense," added Ralph amicably, "we've spent most of the day dodging bears that don't have such pure intentions."

The traveler laughed, a little nervously this time, "Oh, it's quite alright, little one. She's probably just trying to tell me to exercise more," he patted his generous belly good-naturedly. "Tell me, what brings you fellows to these parts? Few travel these roads if they can help it, and I've never seen a Draenai in Duskwood," he eyed Vin curiously.

"We're heading to the Dark Portal," explained Ralph.

"The Dark Portal?" the stranger seemed startled by this news. "You're brave youth indeed to be venturing into those parts."

"I'm going to find my dad," explained Vin happily.

Ralph nodded, "And it is every paladin's dream to meet A'dal."

The three of them looked at me expectantly. "My dog wants to follow them." This statement earned me several strange looks, so I cleared my throat and added, "And what brings _you _to these parts, mister . . . ?" I asked the stranger.

"Ah, well, my name is Maho. I'm a merchant, dealing in alchemical components. I came here looking for a rare reagent one of my more, ah, _affluent _customers requested," he absently stroked a small pouch strapped to his ample belly as he spoke, and I noticed it was squirming.

That's when things went pear-shaped. Vin squealed, "Ooooh, is it alive?" and leaned forward in fascination, taking her hands off of Dotty's collar. Maho gave Vin a long, strange look I could not decipher, while Ralph attempted to dismount too quickly, getting his right foot caught in the stirrup and calling, "Watch the dog!" as he hopped awkwardly next to his huffing horse. I immediately dropped Poko and grabbed for Dotty, but it was too late. Vin's dog snapped at Maho, strong jaw latching onto his thick leg fur. Maho flailed, kicking at the attacking dog and tightly squeezing his collection pouch in surprise. Whatever was inside apparently didn't like being squeezed, because something small and bright green shot out from between Maho's clenched fingers as I made another dive for Dotty on hands and knees.

Something soft and unpleasantly moist hit my wrist as I firmly gripped Dotty's collar and rolled determinedly to the side, breaking her grip on the Pandaren. Vin joined me in the dirt, followed immediately by Ralph, who had just managed to untangle himself. Together we pinned the snarling, frothing beast to the ground. I looked up in concern at Maho. His leg was bleeding, but he was not attending it. He was glaring down at us all piled on top of the dog, and I was surprised to see such a cold, venomous look on a panda's face. "Perhaps it's time to consider putting that things do-" his eyes widened in shock as he focused on me, and he once again squeezed his pouch. "My ooze!"

"Your what?" I followed his gaze and noticed the source of the strange cool sensation on my forearm. It felt like an elephant sneezed on me, and looked like it, too. "Oh, gross, is this yours?" I attempted to scrape the thing off, but it proved surprisingly difficult. It has completely encircled my wrist like an unwanted bracelet and would not part with my skin no matter how hard I tugged and scrapped.

Viscous dog and injured leg forgotten, Maho joined my efforts, to no avail. "We're not going to be able to get it off like this," he moaned.

"What _is _this thing?" I asked in horror. It was slimy and semi-transparent. I could see various debris floating inside it, the most disturbing being a pair of small, disjointed eyeballs that swiveled independently, occasionally meeting my gaze.

Maho sighed. "_That _is an ooze fetus, collected from a brood mother, not growing out of death and decay the way most ooze are born. Reproducing oozes are almost impossible to find, and I had to kill one of the only ones in existence to _get that thing you're wearing_!"

"Surely there's a way to get it off of her?" asked Ralph in alarm. He was straddling Dotty, who seemed to have given up her murderous rage and was settling down for a nap.

"Oozes are used in ceremonies and elixirs seeking to bind souls to inanimate objects, or create structures that are nearly impossible to destroy. They are very difficult to remove once bonded to something," Maho explained reluctantly.

"So, you just killed an almost-extinct creature and stole it's aborted baby so someone can use it as glue in what I'm assuming will be some kind of love doll with a soul?" I almost felt sorry for the bit of living snot on my arm. Almost. "Maho, I think you need to find a new clientele."

"It isn't a seller's business to know what his purchases are intended for," he shifted in a way that had me thinking he knew more than he cared to share about Snotty Scotty's fate. "The only question that matters right now is how do I get my product back. I can't think of many options. The simplest, of course, is to cut off your arm and give my customer your dismembered hand."

"Next!" cried both Ralph and I at once. Vin shuddered.

"I thought you'd feel that way," Maho smiled grimly. "Let me think," his brow furrowed in deep thought. He stared intently at Vin for a long while, then finally back to me. "We will go to Darnassus," he declared finally.

"Darnassus?" cried Vin. "Darnassus is nowhere near Shattrath! What about finding my father?" she tugged desperately at Ralph's sleeve, begging, "Ralph, you promised!"

Ralph frowned, gently pushing the frantic young Draenai off of him and squeezing her hand, "What's in Darnassus that we couldn't find in Shattrath?"

Maho looked very sad as Vin quieted down and stared accusingly at him, one more person keeping her from reuniting with her father. "We need a moonwell," sighed Maho.

Ralph instantly brightened, "But there's one here!" he laughed, and patted Vin reassuringly on the head. "We don't need to go to Darnassus for a moonwell. I'm not very familiar with this area, but if we're careful I'm sure we could find the Twilight -"

Maho was shaking his head desperately and cut Ralph off, "That won't work."

"Why not?" asked Vin and Ralph together, while I asked, "What _is _a moonwell?"

I was ignored. "The moonwell in Twilight Grove is too close to the corruption of Duskwood. It will not serve our purposes," explained Maho. Ralph looked about to argue further, but Maho plunged on persistently, "The two of you need not delay your quest. I think I have an idea that will leave us all satisfied; we do have a mage in our presence, right?" He winked at Vin, who gasped.

"How did you know I was a mage?" She asked.

Maho rubbed his belly jovially, "Ah, a Pandaren has ways of sensing these things . . . All we need is for the young lady to create a portal to Darnassus for the hunter and I, and then you two can be on your way." This declaration created an immediate uproar.

"_Where _is it you want to take me?" I demanded.

"I've never made a portal!" Cried Vin.

"Our group is not splitting up, and how can you expect a great magic like that from a child?" asked Ralph in outrage.

Dotty let out a particularly angry snore in her sleep. Poko licked Maho's fuzzy toes.

Maho raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Calm down! I will commission another mage to send your hunter to Shattrath as soon as I have my product! As for this young Draenai, I see potential in her , and I think I can coach her through the process." He turned to me, "I'll only keep you a few moments. The fetus should detach itself as soon as you submerge it in the cleansing waters of a moonwell."

I looked down at my wrist. It was looking back. "Alright," I shuddered a little. "I'll go with you. I hope Scotty enjoys life as glue," I added darkly under my breath.

"We're all going with you," said Ralph firmly. "It's non-negotiable."

Meanwhile, Vin was bouncing on the balls of her feet. She'd gone from miserable to ecstatic in seconds at the mention of learning magic. "Are you going to teach me how to make the portal now, Mr. Maho? Where did you learn to do it? Are you a mage? Why can't you make the portal?"

As Maho staggered under the flurry of questions, deflecting them by beginning the lesson, another discussion was going on.

"Ralph, you and Vin should keep going. I'll go with the panda; you don't have to come," I began.

"I'm not letting you go alone," insisted Ralph.

There's nothing that makes you _want _to do something more than being told you can't. "Still trying to baby-sit me?" I asked irritably.

"You barely _know _that Pandaren," hissed Ralph.

"I barely know _you_!" I said pointedly.

That gave him pause, but not for long, "As a paladin of the Light I am honor-bound to protect you! All of us going makes the most sense, anyways. Who knows what could go wrong with a mage's first attempt at a portal, and if Maho makes good on his promise to pay a mage we can all portal to Shattrath together. Plus, I'm con-"

"Controlling?"

"_Concerned_!"

"I did it!" Vin's excited voice broke up our argument. We turned in surprise to see a very happy Vin standing beside a large shimmering oval, looking slightly out of breath.

"Oh-ho! Very good! I knew you'd be a quick learner," Vin seemed to glow under Maho's praise. Maho was suddenly serious, "Mara, was it?" I nodded. "Let's get this over with," he tugged at my arm, and I followed him to the portal, Poko trotting happily at my side.

"Vin, you can have the horse to yourself now," I called happily after them. I was not going to miss riding with a bouncy child. Looking into the portal, I saw vague images, I'm assuming, of the destination. All I could get the impression of were tall, thin buildings. "Where are we going again?" I was surprised to find my stomach was knotting with nerves, and I wondered if this was safe. Damn Ralph; his _concern _was contagious. I firmly reminded myself that I'd planned on dying anyways, and disintegrating into a shoddy portal seemed a fairly painless way to go.

"We're going to the Night Elf city, Darnassus," said Maho. Ralph firmly grabbed his horse's reins and began to follow us, motioning for Vin to do the same. Maho chuckled, "Your loyalty is admirable, friend, but Darnassus will be a boring place for a young girl and an adventurous paladin. Also, I'm not sure the lady wants you to come," he looked down at me with what seemed to be the same concern Ralph had. I stifled the urge to laugh. The portal gave an odd shudder, then flickered a couple times. "Time's up!" gasped Maho. "We've gotta go before this closes." The Pandaren shoved me forward, face-first into the shining silver mass. My last glimpse of the dark forest included Poko bouncing to the height of my hip, Ralph grabbing Vin's hand and launching himself forward, and my line of vision being cut off by a mass of black fur.

If I was expecting a life-changing experience, portal travel was not was I was looking for. There was simply a flash of silvery light and I found myself standing in the sun on smooth grass instead of on a gloomy, rocky, spider-infested road. Several gasps and a horse's whinny told me Ralph and Vin had managed to force their way through. I decided I really didn't mind.

The Elvin city was beautiful. Graceful white spires dotted the horizon, and guards in sharp red uniforms patrolled a high, curved wall surrounding the city. "Wow, Vin, you made the portal to this place? I'm impressed! These elves don't look as strange as the ones we saw in Stormwind. They don't have that weird bluish skin . . . why are you guys backing away?"

I turned to my surprisingly silent companions, and noted the distance they'd begun to put between themselves and the Elvin city. I heard a shout from behind me. Turning back to the city, I noticed the guards were running our way. With weapons drawn.

"Oops," said Vin.


End file.
